Negotiating Agreement Without Giving in

Roger Fisher, William Ury, Bruce Patton - Cornerstone - 2012 - 240 p.

Getting to yes

2021 March 30 | by Arduino Mancini Negotiation

We negotiate every day, even when we are not aware of it.

We negotiate with the family to choose the restaurant, with the children on the way back from the disco, in the company to define objectives, the delivery date of a presentation, to settle different positions and avoid conflicts.

We also negotiate with customers, suppliers, business partners.

Negotiation is the fundamental tool to get what we want from others. In all fields – from work to love, from family to social life, from daily shopping to the purchase of a house – learning negotiation techniques means committing yourself to achieve your goals.

Knowing and using effective and efficient negotiation techniques, adapting them to the specific situation means possessing distinctive skills that allow you to deal with the most diverse situations, with high chances of getting what you want on acceptable terms.

Knowing the different types of negotiations and communication techniques that allow us to restructure the negotiation context is a crucial element both in professional and everyday life.

Even if the authors give the impression of trying to sell only their goods, this is an informative text of high relevance: a book that you must read if you want to learn to distinguish between negotiation strategy and tactics, competitive and cooperative negotiation.

You will also learn many good reasons not to negotiate with your Client by adopting the strategy you would use to sell a car.

Have you already bought it?







    • Don’t Bargain Over Positions


    • Separate the PEOPLE from the Problem
    • Focus on INTERESTS, Not Positions
    • Invent OPTIONS for Mutual Gain
    • Insist on Using Objective CRITERIA

3) YES, BUT…

    • What If They Are More Powerful?
    • (Develop Your BATNA—Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement)
    • What If They Won’t Play?
    • (Use Negotiation Jujitsu)
    • What If They Use Dirty Tricks?
    • (Taming the Hard Bargainer)



Questions About Fairness and “Principled” Negotiation

  • Does positional bargaining ever make sense?
  • What if the other side believes in a different standard of fairness?
  • Should I be fair if I don’t have to be?

Questions About Dealing with People

  • What do I do if the people are the problem?
  • Should I negotiate even with terrorists or someone like Hitler? When does it make sense not to negotiate?”
  • How should I adjust my negotiating approach to account for differences of personality, gender, culture, and so on?

Questions about Tactics

  • How do I decide things like ‘Where should we meet?’ ‘Who should make the first offer?’ and ‘How high should I start?’ “
  • Concretely, how do I move from inventing options to making commitments?”
  • How do I try out these ideas without taking too much risk?”

Questions About Power

  • Can the way I negotiate really make a difference if the other side is more powerful? And how do I enhance my negotiating power?

Analytical table of Contents

A Note on the Harvard Negotiation Project


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