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And my best wishes, of course…

Nine things NOT to do for a new year full of… resilience!

2022 December 11 | by Arduino Mancini Resilience

The outlook for the year to come talks of a tough year: the tail end of the pandemic, not yet defeated; a war in Europe and conflicts scattered all over the planet; a rise in inflation that threatens to slow down the economy’s growth momentum; and, last but not least, global warming that threatens to compromise the future of the new generations.

Without forgetting the challenges that each of us will have to face, which can be the most diverse, and generally relate to health, work, and quality of life.

Will we succeed?

I don’t have a crystal ball, but I do know for certain that to confidently look to the future we must first answer one question, which I ask myself whenever I am likely to get carried away by events:

Do you want to ride the horse or hang on to its tail?

What can you do to get on the horse’s back, taking an active role and not getting carried away?

It’s not an easy task, I tell you, but I am sure we will significantly increase our chances of success if

we put aside a few behaviours that too many of us adopt daily.

Here they are: shall we read them together?

  1. Stop complaining.
    • Complaining is a symptom of the feeling of powerlessness you experience when facing negative events.
    • It offers a sterile defence for your self-esteem, a consolation that leaves intact the difficult situation you are facing.
    • To abandon complaining will help you find new energy!
    • So, if complaining does not benefit you, why continue?
  2. Stop worrying.
    • You get worried when you think you can’t pass a challenge or when things don’t go as you would like.
    • Worry is a beast that consumes you and leaves you without the strength to overcome difficulties.
    • You cannot do two difficult things at the same time: either you focus on your worry, or you work hard to overcome the situation.
    • And the second one it is better for you, don’t you think?
  3. Stop deceiving yourself.
    • See things for what they are, not how you want them to be!
    • Accept the situation as it is and but be determined to change it.
    • Observing reality with brutal honesty and keeping your resolution to change intact you can understand how to overcome it.
    • Do you think that facing a situation that exists only in your head will get you anywhere?
  4. Stop brooding.
    • Brooding is typical of people who think too much about past, present or future situations with pessimism and a sense of powerlessness.
    • Thinking about your failures as permanent, and rethinking the reasons for failure without finding a way out consumes energy and diverts it from the efforts needed to overcome difficulties.
    • Do you really believe that constantly thinking about your mistakes can help you cope with the present?
  5. Stop thinking you cannot cope.
    • Is the situation complex? Don’t know where to put your hands?
    • Here are five things that will help you overcome the feeling of powerlessness:
      • Recover strength and lucidity (if you are tired and/or in the grip of pessimism, you will not take good decisions);
      • Analyse the situation (How did it come about? What prompted it?);
      • Identify the resources you can rely on (Are you prepared for the task? Who can help you?);
      • List the actions you can take;
      • Take action.
    • Complicated? Sure! Do you think that giving in to a sense of powerlessness will get you anywhere
  6. Stop turning to alibis.
    • Do not blame others or misfortune for your failure.
    • Thinking that “it’s not my fault” prevents you from thinking about your mistakes, but also prevents you from understanding how to improve in the future.
    • In short, are you really sure that alibis are good for you?
  7. Stop with the pessimism.
    • If you use words such as (the usual) bad luck, always (so), never (goes right), everything (goes wrong), to describe negative events, then you take a pessimistic attitude and assume that they will last forever.
    • Instead, thinking negative events as temporary will push you to look for solutions to get out of them.
    • And you want to get out of complex situations, don’t you?
  8. Stop believing true everything you read, see, and hear.
    • You are flooded with negative, often false news.
    • Negativity is attractive and the attempts at manipulation increased with the rise of social networks and journalists of doubtful competence.
    • Negativity settles into your mind and erodes your confidence.
    • How can you protect yourself? Be cautious of what you hear from a new media source or social networks; when the situation requires it, critically analyse what you hear, see, or read by seeking evidence from reliable sources.
    • Tiring? Sure! Do you think being manipulated by keyboard lions is more convenient?
  9. Stop waiting for someone to rescue you.
    • Waiting for someone to help you out of a complicated situation? Thinking that work is a right and that someone has to find it for you?
    • Good thing to count on the help of others, bad idea to think that finding solutions is only other people’s responsibility.
    • It is essential to adopt an attitude based on realistic optimism, the one that leads you to have confidence in the future once you have implemented actions aimed at overcoming difficulties and making successes lasting.
    • Because nobody can do for you more than you can do for yourself. Don’t you think?

It will be hard for me, but I am determined to put all this behind me.

What do you think?

Are there any attitudes, among the nine I mentioned, that you think you should avoid in the New Year?

And while I leave you to your thoughts here are

my wishes for a healthy and fulfilling new year.


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