Many people ask me how to react to a failure, that is when the slap they received was loud and left them there in confusion.
Well, it is difficult to answer, because the situations can be quite different.
I find it more convenient, and useful, to suggest some behaviours to avoid, those that might prevent you from getting back up and approaching the future with confidence.
Here are my 10 DON’T!
DON’T reflect on your mistakes when dark emotions are still in control of your head: when you are down everything appears more difficult.
DON’T cry on the first shoulder you meet: it may not be the right one and your interlocutor may not be able to offer you useful feedback.
DON’T think of yourself as stupid or, worse, hopeless: even worthy people make mistakes.
DON’T tell your misfortune to everyone you cross on the street (or on social media if you prefer): they are less interested in your affairs than you might think, and their comfort may prove to be a fragile crutch.
DON’T look for alibis: putting on others or fate the responsibility for your failure will not help you understand your mistakes and value them.
DON’T forget to reflect on how much good you have done so far: because even by doing your best you can’t have done everything wrong.
DON’T linger listening to the people who will want to comfort you: empathy generated by sorrow can induce that strange feeling of pleasure that will make your reaction more difficult.
DON’T be held back by the fear that what happened may happen all over again: better to fail again than to stop striving.
DON’T forget that there are people who need you: they are not always by your side and there may be more of them than you think.
DON’T stop trying to get up: if you stay on the ground, you will hardly be able to walk again.
And you want to get up and walk, don’t you?
What do you think? Do you have doubts about your chances to start again?